You know you’re addicted to Halo/Halo 2 when…
1. Never argue or infuriate your designated driver; they’ll get mad and run you over.
2. In cases of sword-wielding zealots, your best option is to RUN.
3. Beware the ides of Tartarus.
4. Plasma grenades don’t bounce no matter how hard you try.
5. Always clear pillars before throwing a plasma grenade.
6. Never land near the edge of a platform and then get out if there’s nothing behind you to land on.
7. Guardians are not forgiving nor are they biased.
8. Elites are mean to anyone, including their allies, meaning melees hurt anyone nearby.
9. Cortana is in perpetual PMS.
10. Never mess with the Chief. Ever. It’s a death wish.
11. Being a Halo 2 fan girl is a simple way of stating… “OMFG, I WANNA SHAG THE MASTER CHIEF!”
12. Cortana is lucky; she gets to inhabit kick ass armor. (Not to mention get friendly with UNSC-grade parts –cough-)
13. Once a player wielding a plasma sword is spotted, proceed with the following – piss pants, scream, and run if you can.
14. Warthog launching in multiplayer is a sure-fire way to get killamanjaros because the Warthog will explode with the other player inside it before it’ll launch.
15. Pawn now, bitch later is a standard rule for noobs.
16. Legendary is not for wimps or the weak of thumbs.
17. Betrayal is even more fun in Halo 2, but still a bitch. And the bans are longer.
18. All Halo 2 players have balls; they also like to stick them to people before they explode.
19. Don’t root for Blue Team on RvB if you play on Red in Halo 2, and vice versa, unless you wanna get pwnd from now until next century.
20. Church and Caboose are the smexz0r.
21. If you’re going to “stick it”, aim carefully and don’t overshoot before it explodes otherwise it’s quite a mess.
22. Avoid the flashy exploding barrels AT ALL COSTS.
23. Sword-canceling is fun, but the crouching-Spartan-hidden-jump-extension sucks.
24. 343 Guilty Spark is the most annoying NPC ever, and have tried more than once at beating/sticking/shooting him out of the sky.
25. Splattering people in MP is a favorite past-time.
26. Talking about Halo 2 games in the first person is perfectly normal…
27. … And your friends do the same exact thing.
28. You know at least five or six ways to make a complete idiot of yourself in multiplayer, and some of them don’t include suicides or accidental deaths.
29. More than once, you’ve been ownd by the Guardians.
30. You know what the Guardians are.
31. You have kept an armor color or changed your armor color or character over the turnout of a tournament; then changed it back because the next tournie went badly.
32. … Or you kicked major ass and kept the armor color to spite people into remembering your face, insignia, and otherwise… how much ass you kicked.
33. You placed 1st in a tournie first round, but got your ass kicked in the next rounds. (True story)
34. You have near creamed/wet your pants over a line or an appearance of characters in RvB. (Omg, Caboose… Church… -drools-)
35. CTF is a bitch.
36. Any moron can get a headshot, and only the genetically faulty players gloat if they get a single shot.
37. You’ve learned that “Minding your surroundings” is not just another bit of Sith twaddle and actually very good advice. (Bow to Darth Vadah!)
38. You’ve laughed your ass off at the first minute and a half of “Out of Mind” (part one).
39. … Then watch the same video on repeat for the sequence of the Aussie getting blown up, falling down, screaming like he’s on helium, and going “bullocks” at the end. Then snickered at Tex’s remarks, knowing you’ve done that a few times.
40. Assassinations are best done from behind.
41. You can’t face your friends after doggie-style meleein’ them.
42. You don’t care about scores most of the time (however nicely put for ranks), you’re there to humiliate and laugh at the other players’ expense.
43. You have tried super-bounces more than once.
44. Never once succeeding.
45. And now are crying for the fact of never having “bounced”.
46. You remember a noob along the way who would only bounce, twirl, or spray bullets around in a constant circle.
47. You’ve gone to tournies, saw someone camping and shouted “If you wanna camp, join the boy scouts!”
48. Despite having a best friend who’s an Eagle Scout.
49. Everything in Halo/Halo 2 can be perverted; it’s just a matter of how bad you wanna ruin it, and permanently at that.
50. You’ve joined a Halo-centric roleplay, something’s happened there, and now you can’t play parts of Halo/Halo 2 without laughing your ass off thanks to the roleplay site.
51. The “Flaming Ninjas” are wannabes compared to your melee attacks, stealth mode, etc.
52. Now you’re contemplating hunting down the Flaming Ninjas with a resume dictating how much skill you have in assassination, sniping and otherwise, infiltration and annihilation.
53. You don’t swear but you’ve called another player a banshee/rocket/sniper/magnum/tank/warthog-whore.
54. You know at least half a dozen good camping spots in every map ever created (even if you haven’t played them), and you frequently camp there with some noob-combo, sniper rifle, shotgun or otherwise, just to hear the other person’s reaction.
55. You’ve pulled a non-existent rank by none other than saying “It’s my server, deal with it.”
56. Halo and another science fiction genre have crossed over.
57. Movie quotes are to be praised Halo-centric one-liners that even Sarge would be jealous of.
58. You’ve done machinima, and now have several videos on it.
59. You’ve gang-raped players into “stunts” merely to get killamanjaros.
60. And people have fallen for it continuously.
61. You have no sympathy for modders.
62. And yet you’ve played on a modded map at one point or another in your Halo/Halo 2 playing time.
63. You put your MP3 folder(s) on shuffle and, excluding your Halo music, you’ve thought “Hey, that’d be a good Halo song”.
64. You’ve made Halo fan music, or tried to, and would have done Martin O’Donnell proud.
65. You got all these jokes, and are now fav’ing, passing around the community, and around the world.