Twenty Reasons Why Girls Are Better At Halo 2:
1. We have a legitimate excuse to go postal on people – it’s called PMS.
2. As females, we have to memorize where everything is… this includes the best camping spots for sniping and the locations of each weapon on the map.
3. We have the patience to learn how to be the best we possibly can, whereas guys seemingly just get worse and worse the farther up they are in the rank. It’s something to do with egos…
4. Ranks mean nothing to females pretty much, as long as we can kick ass in Rumble Training, we’re happy. (Most of the time)
5. If we get told we aren’t “man enough” to play Halo 2, we just subtly remind the guy that without women… there would be no Halo 2 and there would be no Bungie founders, and the player who just insulted us wouldn’t be there.
6. Due to histories as mothers, females also have amazing reflexes when allowed. Meaning if you haven’t been pwnd, chances are you’re about to be.
7. Intuition is one thing guys lack and one thing that gives girls the upper hand in all Halo 2 games.
8. On the subject of “dropping your balls”, remember – you might eventually get married to a former Halo 2 player, treat her nice and she won’t use the nearest laundry basket for a rocket launcher. Or pummel you with soda (or insert drink of choice) cans.
9. A percentage of female Halo 2 players are in it for the fun and to have a good time playing Halo 2, not to get cussed out for being female.
10. A female Halo 2 gamer can date a male Halo 2 player, and still make him cry when he looses. It’s the most common breakup issue among gamers.
11. The ideal Valentine’s Day present is a new Halo 2 action figure, preferably in pink, black or purple armor; Sangheili or Spartan doesn’t matter.
12. We can think on our feet because our brains are where they’re supposed to be… not in our pants.
13. The idea of corpse humping means far more to females, aside from the fact that it’s saying “You got ownd, noob.” In more or less words that aren’t spoken.
14. You hardly ever hear girls trash talk each other. When they do, it’s les. When guys do it, it’s “putting in spot” and if a girl does it to a guy… it’s harassment.
15. We have long memories, if you pwnd us unfairly, chances are… if your gamer-tag shows up again… you’re screwed.
16. You can tell the girls from the women by the size of their guns.
17. Don’t assume by gamer-tags that you’re contending with males. Also, there’s nothing in any rule book written by Bungie saying that girls have to suck at Halo 2.
18. Intuition is 96% of the game play, 2% is skill, 2% is sheer dumb luck. If you think something is about to happen, go with the feeling.
19. Remember – what goes around for calling female players “sword whores” may actually cause later marital problems.
20. Dating a girl for her skill in Halo 2 is never a good idea.